For the Best
by CheapNovelty
Summary: A oneshot dealing with Clare's feeling leading up and after Drop the World


**I don't own Degrassi. This is a quick one shot, I'm not sure how I feel about it, but it's just one of those things that needed to be wrote or it'd drive me crazy.**

**Reviews would be appreciated.**

Everything was perfect.

Once upon a time it really was. Sure, they had their ups and down's just like everyone else, but overall Clare and Eli were truly happy together. Unfortunately, like all good things in life, their relationship came to an end. Before that though, Clare Edwards would have honestly called what they had perfect. They sincerely cared about each other and seemed to bring out a side in one another that no one else could. They had found such a genuine connection at such a young age that people in their 50's would envy the two. It was positively perfect…until she ruined everything.

She blamed herself, why wouldn't she? _She's_ the one who pushed him away. _She's_ the one who broke her promise. _She's_ the one who left him.

It all started when Eli declared his love for her in the hallway. She knew he loved her and she loved him, but saying it out loud made it so…_real_. It scared her.

Before, they would laugh, smile, hug and kiss, no "I love you's". It was wonderful, but then he had to go and ruin it by telling everyone how he felt. Sure, she told Fitz she loved Eli, but that was one person. And this one person wasn't exactly the type to go and tell spread the word around town while passing out flyers blazed with the headline '_Clare Edwards loves Eli Goldsworthy'_. Her secret was still safe. She also only told Fitz so he would back off about their so called 'spiritual connection'. Eli, he told everyone because he was proud, he wanted them to know. Clare, she was fine living in denial.

Truth be told, Clare Edwards was afraid of love. It all leads back to her parents. They were once so infatuated with each other and here they are now: in the middle of a messy divorce and can't even see each other without getting into an argument. They whole incident with KC last year probably didn't do her any good either. Although she was not anywhere near loving KC, the fact that he dumped her and immediately hooked up with the next pretty face he was surely didn't help her theory on love.

It's not that she doesn't believe in love, she does, but more the fact she's realized love doesn't last. Don't believe her? Look around, I'm sure you'll spot a few examples.

When Clare broke up with Eli she was sure it was for the best. After the whole 'love' thing she knew they wouldn't have lasted much longer, fate wouldn't let them. So, once he started to get possessive she found it to be the perfect opportunity. She had a genuine reason to end it - he was controlling, obsessive and scary. Plus, if she broke things off now they wouldn't have a chance to fall deeper in love. If she held on and they got through his issues they would have only grown closer and in the end hurt more when they eventually broke up. She'd rather hurt now and get it over with then to hurt much worse later on.

If they didn't break up now they would have later, and if they somehow ended up married they would have only ended up divorced. She'd told him before, opposites attract, get married, have kids and divorce.

She knew she went about the break up all wrong, but she couldn't take it back. A part of her actually hoped he'd be so bitter after what she did to him that he would never try to talk to her again. It would only tempt her. She knew if they settled things between them and went back to being friends she would only fall for him once more and the cycle would start right back up.

Another reason Clare had to end it when she did was so she wouldn't resent Eli. She loved him too much. Even though she knew they couldn't be together, she never wanted to hate him. Which she would have if they stayed together, just like her parents. She saw the look her mother gave her father and she doesn't ever want to look at Eli like that.

Eli made her happy, beyond happy. He could bring a smile to her face whenever she needed it and would be her shoulder to cry on. He was her rock. She would rather remember all their good times and finish while they were still on top and in love then for that happiness to slowly fade until there was no more. Completely forgotten. It's better to go out with a bang then to fade away.

It should be made clear, Clare loved Eli, she really did. She still _loves_ him. She probably always would somewhat. That's why she had to do this. He didn't deserve this. He deserved to find a girl who could make him happy and would always be there for him. Someone who isn't scared to commitment. Someone who deserves him. Someone who isn't her.

He deserved to be happy and Clare couldn't give him that. No matter how much she wanted to be that someone, she couldn't. And as painful as it would be to watch him find that someone and forget her, she knew, it was for the best.


End file.
